Selfishly Selfless
by rose.chan27
Summary: I had my life figured out. Learn as many languages as I could, travel the world, and die before I turned 50. It's only too bad that not everything goes according to plan. SI/OC (M rating for language. Romance tag probably won't come into play til WAY later.) On hiatus. Sorry. :(
1. Chapter 1

When it came to dying, I always wished I would do so in a very ordinary way before I was too old. When I say too old, I mean before I even hit 50. Some might think that was young still, but hey, I worked at an assisted living home in the memory care section. I saw some of the things that happened when you lingered in life. I never wanted that.

I didn't want to have to rely on someone else to help me to the bathroom or for eating food. I didn't want to live by someone else's rules in a place that wasn't with my family and wasn't really my home. I never wanted to experience any of that.

Something I didn't think too much about was what happened AFTER you died. I was a Christian. I believed that your soul would go to heaven if you simply believed in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. So, no, I really didn't think too much about life after death.

I probably should have. I could have done more research on different religions and their beliefs and been more prepared... possibly. I'm not even sure if more knowledge would have been all that helpful. After all, how can one possibly prepare for reincarnation? More specifically, how does one prepare for that as well as keeping one's memories from their previous life? That doesn't happen. It just... doesn't.

I suppose I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Maybe I should start at the beginning? Hm... or is it the end? That's going to be a little confusing. I have a feeling that is going to be happening a lot. That confused feeling. Anyway, let's just start with the last day of my last life...

It was a normal one. My mother woke me up at 9:30 pm. Yes, I was a 24-year old that still lived with my mother. Laugh all you want but really, being an adult sucked. Bills and work, all of it just sucked. It was hard. So, any kids out there that read this, let this be a warning. Being an adult is not easy. Don't try to grow up so fast. I mean, seriously. Just don't. Enjoy being a kid. Be thankful that you still have people paying your medical bills for you. That people pay your rent for you. That your insurance is taken care of. Once you hit 18, all that shit falls on you.

Anyway, back to my story. So, I woke up at 9:30 pm because I worked the overnight shift. I went to work, got done around 7 am, drove to pick up a coffee, went home and showered, then drove to the local tech college for my morning classes. Another thing you need to worry about when you grow up, paying for school. I'm getting off topic again. Sorry, but hindsight really is a horribly wonderful thing. You never realize how good life WAS until you're thrown into even worse situations. Seriously, adulthood is the worst.

So, I'm going to school for linguistics. I can speak about five different languages fluently. Six if you count English. Reading and writing are a little harder. Especially when it comes to the languages that don't use an alphabet. Which is a good majority of them, in case you were wondering. So, yeah. Reading and writing were taking longer to master, but it was a necessary step to becoming a linguist.

Right, on with the story. Classes were the same as usual. Nothing happened that wasn't supposed to, well, except for a pop quiz. Not really the point though. I finished at around 2 pm then drove home, worked on some papers until about 4, then went to bed so I could do it all over again the next day. See? Nothing unusual. A very ordinary day. Nothing happened when I was sleeping. At least, nothing that I felt. Because obviously, something happened. I mean, I died after all. I guess I got my wish to before I turned 50. I suppose I had just assumed I would at least make it until 40. Be careful what you wish for indeed.

The next thing I knew, after falling asleep, was waking up to darkness. I didn't think too much about it. It was getting close to winter and the sunset earlier. But, my mother hadn't woken me yet, so I just went back to sleep. I could never get enough sleep. Sleep was good.

The next time I had woken up to the darkness, I was a bit more... worried. Why? Because I tried to stretch and found that I couldn't move. At first, I thought sleep paralysis. I discarded that when I really stopped to just listen and feel.

A steady and strong thump could be heard. I wasn't sure what it was, actually, I knew exactly what it was but I was in denial. I didn't want to think what it meant for me. That wasn't the only sound though. There were a lot more all around me. I couldn't describe some of them. I mean, I really couldn't. I'd never heard anything like it before. The other sounds were a bit easier. You know the "ocean" sound you could hear when you held a seashell to your ear? Yeah, that sound was present. Then there was the occasional murmur. Sometimes it sounded more like a hum but I couldn't be too sure.

I'd said before, I was in denial. I know what most of those sound had to mean, but I refused to accept it. Instead, I'd just believe I was in hell. It went along with my religious beliefs better. So, that darkness lasted for quite some time. I had no idea how long... Okay, I knew exactly how long, but again, denial.

Something changed with the darkness. It didn't give me that normal comfort. It had started to feel like it was suffocating me. It squeezed and constricted around me. Funny thing about denial, eventually, a person will have to face the truth. I just hadn't expected that truth to be a blinding light and the feel of giant hands.

So, I did the only logical thing I could think to do when forced to face the truth of now being a newborn child... I cried.


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't usually do these A/N but I just have to say; I only just posted the first chapter, which honestly was just to see if anyone would be interested in reading it, and 3 reviews plus 5 favs? You guys rock! Since I've literally only started this story, I can't promise a posting schedule. I may end up going back through the chapters to add more but at that point, I'll put another A/N at the top. So, thank you. Seriously. You all made my day!_

 _P.S. Translations will be at the bottom._

...

I couldn't say much about the first couple of weeks of my newborn life. I slept for most of it. I mean, everything was blurry. Everything. It gave me such a bad headache when I tried to focus on anything. Not to mention most of the sounds I heard were pretty muffled. I swear I wasn't wearing ear muffs, but I also had no control over my limbs so I couldn't actually check. And there was this feeling that nearly suffocated me whenever someone got too close to me.

Those weren't the only reasons. I really didn't want to be aware when it came time for "feeding" or the diaper changes. Not having control over my own bodily functions sucked. I had blocked that shit out right alongside part about me coming out of my "mother's"... nope. Not even going there. Blocked. It was that easy... Well, not really, but I'm going to distract myself now. Somehow...

Oh. There's that sound again. I still can't see very well, but given what I remember of my time in the- nope, not thinking about it- I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one there. Meaning I had a sibling. He, or she, was pretty needy. They kept crying. It's rather annoying. My naps kept getting disturbed. Not sure I liked the sibling...

That wasn't the only thing waking me from my naps though. There was this itching. I can't really describe it. It was this moving itch that was just below my skin. With no control over my limbs yet, I couldn't even scratch at it. It was driving me up a wall! I didn't cry though. My 24-year-old mind refused to let me stoop to that level. I couldn't stop my uncomfortable squirming though.

The other thing that kept me up, not waking me up because it wasn't an annoying thing, was this... I'm not even sure what it was. It was almost like warmth. It was something warm that was located close to where the itching sensations were but just below that. Actually, I suppose I can't even say it was something that kept me up. When the itching or my siblings wailing got to be too much, I just focus on the feeling of this warmth and, even if I couldn't get back to sleep, it helped me quiet my thoughts and annoyance.

Back onto my uncontrollable limbs. During the moments I was "aware" I spent a lot of time and energy trying to control those timorous beasties. The sooner I did that, the sooner I could move onto potty training. I realize I'm in the body of an infant. That doesn't make this any easier. How do babies trust so easily? Uh, nevermind. They probably don't have the memories of over two decades stuffed into their heads of just how untrustworthy people are.

Hm. Memories. That was another thing that confused me. This whole reincarnation thing was messed up enough, to begin with. How did I keep my memories? I thought memories were stored in some part of the human brain. However, I'm in a brand new body. That means a brand new brain. Are memories stored in the soul itself? If that's the case, then does that mean the soul is in the human brain? Ugh! I can't think about this now. Time to focus on that warmth.

...

Two months. I'm happy to say I have enough control over my body to roll over. My sight and hearing "cleared" up as well. Finally. I wasn't wearing ear muffs, by the way. Turns out that an infants body isn't fully developed even after being born. That answered a lot of questions that I never even thought to ask. The suffocating feeling around others was still present but it seems like my body had adjusted. Still didn't know what it had to adjust to, but I was glad it did.

I huffed as my most recent attempt to push myself to my knees failed... again. If there was anything that made me want to cry, it was the frustration of this failure. I could do it before, I should be able to do it again dammit! Ugh, how did my life get to this?

Oh, yeah. I died. Well, I'm assuming I died. I don't actually remember dying. I just went to bed one night and the next thing I knew was the darkness. Dammit! I know I didn't want to get too old, but there were still things I wanted to do! I wanted to see the world! New Zealand, England, everywhere! It was the reason I was so interested in going into linguistics.

"Kanojo wa naite inai, Shibi. Nanika ga machigatte iru to omoimasu ka?"

That would be the voice of my new mother. Of all the places to be reborn, it had to be Japan. I was fluent in five, six if you include English, different languages. Japanese was not one of them. I mean, I knew a few words. I did watch anime after all. Just not enough to know what the hell my "parents" were saying. I suppose the bright side is that I have a fairly easy time learning languages. I guess it's just how my brain is wired, or however that works.

"Sō wa omowanai. Dōshite? Kanojo wa shizukana kodomo kamo shirenai."

Shizukana? I knew that one! It meant quiet! Ah... That doesn't really help me though. Dang. Oh well. It'll be interesting to see how long it takes me to pick up the language. The mind of an adult with the spongy absorption of a child. Well, time to get back to work on my independence.

Since I don't have the strength to crawl yet, I suppose I'd better work on that first. Baby push ups it is! My arms were already in the right positions. And push! Hey! Look at that! I did it! Well, sorta. I'm actually doing a yoga pose. What was it called again? Upward facing dog? Yeah, I think that was it. Not a proper push-up but until I can get some muscle tone it'll have to do.

And down. Ugh! Okay. I'm probably going to get a bad bruise on my face. Maybe I should try to figure out a different way to work on my arms...

"Anata wa nani o shiyou to shite iru nodesu ka, Shika?" My mother asked as she picked me up.

The sudden change of scenery left me blinking for a moment. Once the world stood still I looked at my mother. Her black hair was short and framed her face. A pair of black goggle-like sunglasses concealed her eyes. All in all, she was rather pretty. Now if only I could get those glasses off her face. Who wears glasses inside anyway? Didn't Dean Winchester say that was a douche thing to do? Anyway, back to getting my hands on those glasses. My "brother" started wailing again. Dammit! I was so close!

"Shino wa watashi o sukide wanai. Dōshite? Kare wa watashi ga kare o daite iru to, itsumo naku."

My mother laughed. "Kare wa anata ni narete inai. Anata wa nagai jikan o sugoshimashita."

Was my father pouting? Were those bugs crawling on his- nope! Deny! DENY!- Denial is a beautiful thing. Everything is great! Nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. There aren't bugs crawling everywhere. It's just a complete coincidence That my father's name is Shibi and my brother's name is Shino. I love denial. Everything is perfect.

...

 _She is not crying, Shibi. Do you think that something is wrong?_

 _I do not think so. Why? She may be a quiet child._

 _Shika, What are you doing?_

 _Shino does not like me. Why? He always cries when I hold him._

 _He is not used to you. You are gone often._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N So, If you haven't figured it out yet, most of the chapters for the early years will be rather choppy. I'm not nearly creative enough to come up with a bunch of stuff to fill in the gaps between the "milestones" of Shika's life. I don't normally write in_ first _person so if you see any verb tense disagreements, then please let me know and I'll do my best to fix them. I also would've like my chapters to be longer than they are. I hope that once we get to the start of Canon they will get longer but I make no promises for that, just to be safe. As I stated before, this story is still new for me. As in, I've only started writing it down within the last two weeks. There will be some mistakes. I will most likely go back at some point to make changes or just rewrite it altogether. I will give fair warning before I do. Those of you who have stuck with this so far(the a/n as well as the story) thanks a bunch! You all rock! On to the story!_

...

So, that thing I said about denial? How, eventually, you have to face the truth? Well, I can't fight the facts any longer. Six months. That's how long it took me to get to this point. Standing here, looking at one blonde haired, blue eyed HOKAGE. And his very heavily pregnant red-haired wife.

My breathing started to escalate. I just kept blinking, hoping I was just hallucinating. They were still there. Still looking at me and me staring back at them.

"Shika? Won't you say hello?" My mother prodded. My eye might have twitched.

"Is she okay?" Kushina asked.

Being able to understand what was being said was great. It took me four months to get here. It turns out having the absorption of a child but the comprehension of an adult meant I got the basics of the language down pretty quickly. I was far from fluent but at least I was on the right track.

Speaking of being on the right track, my persistence has paid off. For the most part. I am able to toddle around for a fairly decent distance. For being six months old I wasn't doing too bad. I still couldn't control my bodily functions. I'm working on it though. The sooner I could be "potty trained" the better.

Back to the denial... I was able to ignore my "father" and "brother's" names. I was in Japan. Those names can't be exclusive. I ignored the picture that looked like a spider that was hanging around the house. Maybe I just had fanatical parents. The bugs... Well, I just pretended my child eyes were playing tricks on me. Once I got a decent grasp on the basics of the language, it was a bit harder to just believe my parents were fans... But all of that dulled at what was staring me in the face.

'Breath, Shika.' I winced at my new name. 'Just breath. Cosplayers. His hair can't really be that yellow. It must be a wig. Yeah. I can probably just pull it off.' It was decided. I took a deep breath and toddled towards him. I gripped the fabric of his... jacket?... and tugged to get his attention.

"Ah. Yes?"

I raised my arms in the universal child sign language for "up." He blinked before looking at my mother for permission. I'm assuming she said yes because he gently placed his hand under my arms and lifted me before settling me on his hip.

"Hello, Shika." He smiled at me. Good thing my body wasn't capable of blushing yet. I'd have been bright red. Jeepers was this man attractive. I nodded my hello back. I stared at his eyes. They didn't look like contacts. Hm... That's okay. Eyes can be that blue... sometimes. I reached my hand towards his hair. I got a good grasp. Oh, his hair is so soft. No! Stop getting distracted. I pulled.

"Ow. You've got a good grip."

Apparently, I didn't pull hard enough. I pulled again.

"Shika! I'm sorry, Hokage-sama." My mother moved to take me from him.

"It's alright, Tsubaki-san. I'm going to have to get used to it."

Okay. So, either that is a really tight wig or... that's his real hair. Okay... That's okay. Hair dye. It could just be hair dye. I'm just living in a family of fanatics with friends who are just as fanatical. No need to panic.

"When are you do, Kushina-san?"

"October 10th, dattabane!"

It was just a coincidence. Oh, who am I kidding? One thing could, realistically, be considered a coincidence. Two would be pushing it. Three things? Four? I frowned. My skin started to itch again. No. Not now. The hand that was still gripping Minato's soft hair slowly released. I was in the Narutoverse. I died and was reborn into the world of ninja. I must have stopped breathing at some point because black dots appeared and grew until they consumed everything.

"Shika!"

...

For all intent and purposes, nothing had changed since I randomly passed out while being held by the Fourth Hokage. On the outside, at least. I continued my amateur muscle strengthening routine when I was supposed to be sleeping. I continued to walk around and familiarize myself with my surroundings.

On the inside, it was chaos. Things like this don't just happen. They just don't. How could I accept it? When it was just being reborn in a different country, it was easier to accept. It had gone against my beliefs, but I could accept it.

This, though... There were so many things wrong about this. It was an ANIME for crying out loud! A two-dimensional cartoon television show! It isn't real! And yet... here I was. Shouldn't I be more excited about this? I loved the show! I'd been a fan of it since I was 12. 12 years later and I loved it just the same.

In theory, it sounded pretty awesome. I would admit, when I was 12, to wishing to be a part of it. I would act out scenes as if I was there and could change anything I wanted to. I'd fight side by side with the characters and just generally kick ass. As I got older, it changed from acting the scenes out to writing them out.

The reality, that a 12-year-old mind couldn't grasp, was that it wasn't a good situation at all. Konoha and every other nation in this world pretty much was a militaristic dictatorship. The Hokage was king. Well, sort of. Candidates were selected by the elders of the village and presented to the Daimyo who made the final choice. The people of the village had no say. Once the Hokage was there, the only person who had more power than him was the Daimyo himself.

Civilians had a small measure of freedom. They had to pay taxes, sure. But, if they wanted to leave, it was a simple matter of paperwork. The shinobi, on the other hand... They really didn't have a choice. Once in, it was either death or going rogue. There was no way to leave.

Not that most people thought about that. Practically from birth, the indoctrination began. The kind that tries to brainwash you. Being a shinobi is great. Konoha is the best. The Hokage knows all. The Will of Fire is king.

How did I miss all the blatant propaganda? Two reasons. The first, I didn't leave the compound. Ever. While there were signs of it inside the Aburame compound, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was in the civilian population. The second, as I've said before, denial was my friend for the better part of my first year.

The question now, what was I going to do? It didn't matter if this was real, a dream, or some drugged up hallucination. I was here now, and for however long I was stuck here, I needed a plan. Only, I didn't actually have a choice. Not really. I wasn't just a member of a noble clan. I was the daughter of the HEAD of said noble clan. I HAD to become a shinobi.

The resentment that swelled within me was surprising, but only just. I just wanted to live. I was born into the generation of the rookie 9 and they faced some serious shit within the first 20 years of their life. Maybe it's selfish of me to think so, but I just wanted to survive. In this world, the civilians had it best. Yes, they were at the mercy of those more powerful than them, but they are overlooked so much more often.

I couldn't follow that path. The shinobi life had been chosen for me simply because of my family. This body didn't handle anger very well. Not to mention the Kikaichu I hosted reacted to the anger as well. I had to take a deep breath to calm myself before they swarmed. I was terrified of bugs of any sort in my previous life. I still wasn't fond of them now, but I've had to get used to them quickly. I was stuck with them.

Okay. So I had to go to the academy. That didn't mean I had to pass. My parents from Now thought I was going to be a prodigy. Looking at my rate of progress compared to Shino's showed me how they would think that. Nearly ten months old and I could already walk fairly normally. Shino was just beginning to toddle around. He, however, was already beginning to talk. It was that I couldn't. I suppose I just never found much of a reason to.

At least they finally stopped trying to get me to speak. Maybe they heard my late night vocal exercises. I tried to keep my voice down at night but they were shinobi. I may not feel the need to talk but I did know that without use, like any muscle, it could be painful should I try to use it. So, I practiced at night.

So, that's what I would do. I nodded. I would go to the academy and then fail out. I was glad I hadn't tried playing with that warmth, which I figured out to be chakra, yet. I wouldn't touch that until I absolutely had to. Then I could play the helpless civilian. My life expectancy should be fairly long. I died young before, she why not shoot for old age this time around. I felt much calmer with that thought in my mind. I could do this. I just had to keep practicing until I was able to go to the bathroom on my own, then I would just stop and let nature take its course. That sounded go-

-SUFFOCATINGDEATHHATERAGEDIEDIEDIE-

I couldn't breathe! What the hell is that?! The door to our room opened.

"Shino! Shika! We need to go!" My mother didn't wait. She grabbed us and we were out of the house. Shino started crying. I didn't know how he could. How could he breathe?! My vision got all spotty again. My last thought before the darkness took me for a second time, was that it must be October 10th. Naruto...

...

 _I love reviews but I won't stop posting just because I don't get any. They are a good motivator though. Just saying._


	4. Chapter 4

Okay. After October 10th, I was reminded that of just how strong some of the people in this world would be. So, new plan. Become the strongest kunoichi ever. Sounds simple enough. I knew it wouldn't be that easy. While I would throw everything into my training, I also needed to make sure I didn't stand out too much. Danzo was still a real problem. And he had his sights on the clans.

I don't know what Shibi was thinking when he agreed to anything with Danzo. Then again, didn't the Uchiha get pushed into the corner just because Fugaku refused Danzo? I suppose I shouldn't fault Shibi for doing what he could to protect the needs of the many. But I did. Well, I WILL. Nothing has happened yet. Torune hasn't been added to the "family" so I suppose I still have time.

Hm... The only reason Torune ended up in ROOT was because he sacrificed his own future for Shino. But I'm here now. If I'm found to be a "prodigy" then Danzo will probably push to have me join. I can't have that. And really, I don't have a hope of NOT being seen as one. This is a world of fucking shinobi. I may have the mind of a 24-year-old, but I'm in a toddlers body right now. That, and I've never had the paranoia of a ninja. I haven't had to live the life they have.

I huffed while doing my basic exercises. I guess I could try to get close to Torune. Then he would step into dissuade Danzo from trying to take me too. I winced. I was a caretaker Before. USING someone else went against everything I was... But, dammit! I want to live! I didn't choose this life. I didn't choose to be here. I can't even really choose my own career path in this life!

'Oh, it's not like it's all that big of a deal anyway. These are just characters anyway. It's you or me, Torune. I'm choosing me.' My eyes slid over towards Shino's bed. He was sleeping soundly. I squashed the sliver of guilt before it could take hold.

I was not going to feel bad for something that hadn't even happened yet. I was NOT going to feel bad for choosing me. I closed my eyes. Time to dredge up whatever memories I could on how to practice with my chakra. Something about spiraling?

...

Chakra... Chakra is just plain weird. Awesome and terrifying? Absolutely. Still weird though. I mean, given what I know of it, it's the equivalent of a metabolism. Only, it's not the same thing at all. I couldn't use my metabolism Before to create a clone or make people see shit that wasn't there. I could do that with chakra though. Well, I MIGHT be able to once I learned how to use it properly.

As it stands, I was only trying for basic control. My first thought on how to do that had been tree walking. I discarded that idea right quick. I wasn't even two yet in this body. My chakra coils were still expanding. Even with my head start, it would be at least another year of constant training physically and spiritually before my reserves would be big enough to hold me on a solid surface for more than a few seconds.

So, I had to focus on smaller tasks. Like leaf sticking. The problem with that was we weren't allowed outside yet. I wasn't sure why. It isn't like Kurama was going to be released again anytime soon. So, I had to figure out something else. Paper worked well enough. When I got too tired of that I turned to simply moving it from one part of my body to another. It was slow going, but I never knew what would come in handy later on.

When I wasn't working on my control, I would just lay down and focus on my senses. I was fairly sensitive to the chakra around me. It sounded logical when I thought about it. I had 24 years of memories WITHOUT chakra present. It was something foreign. So, I suppose it's only natural to know when something was different.

It was the same concept like being sick with a cold. While I might not be aware of the foreign bacteria and viruses entering my body, my body WAS so it would try to fight off the unnatural materials.

While my developing chakra system wasn't a bacteria or a virus, it wasn't within the norm for me so I was more aware of it. It also might explain why I felt like I was suffocating when I was near the adults. Their reserves were so much larger than mine and even more foreign. If I didn't think about it or focus too much then I was fine. It was only when my mind was on it that I ended up feeling like I was suffocating.

The other thing about chakra, it was EVERYWHERE. Every living thing had it. Even some nonliving things. Though, then it felt more like a chakra echo. Like, the chakra that was left was just an empty shell of what it used to be. Maybe it followed the same principals of isotopic half lives? I might not even be using that in the correct way. Science wasn't my strong point.

I also had to practice with my... Kikaichu. I can't stop the shudder. I HATED bugs of any kind Before. I was forced to live with them now. How on earth was that fair? What did I do to deserve this? But practice with them I did. I needed every advantage I could get in this world.

Speaking of, if I recalled correctly, stamina was one of the biggest weaknesses of the Aburame. They relied on their insects too much and didn't bother to train much to expand on that. I was not going to fall into that category. I refused to be hindered by something that was so easily remedied.

On top of all my self-appointed tasks for conditioning myself and expanding my own reserves, I also badgered whatever adult was around to read to me. I could only do so much on my own. I might be able to work out the basics due to repeating symbols, context clues, and whatever picture where there, but it was useless if I didn't have somewhere to start.

It didn't help that Japanese was a symbol-based language. Well, I call it symbol based. I suppose that isn't really correct, but all the same. It didn't have an alphabet. In fact, it had three separate writing systems. Katakana, hiragana, and kanji. I suppose the first two would be simple enough to learn. They were the closest to an alphabet, although they are actually called syllabaries.

Kanji, on the other hand, would be the most difficult. They were not based on phonetics. Kanji were adopted logographic Chinese characters. While I did have SOME knowledge of Chinese Before, it isn't anywhere near enough to be helpful here. Not for the first time did I wish I could have held off on dying until after I had learned Japanese. I had been set to start it six months before I ended up here.

I suppose the saying goes, "Life isn't fair" for a reason. Ugh. Not cool.

...

So, I finally gave up. I started calling them mother and father in my head. I suppose a part of me had been clinging onto the hope that this was all some sort of dream. But I had to face it. Three years was way too long for a dream to span. There was still the idea that I was in a coma but I wasn't going to hold my breath. This was my life now.

Not too long after our third birthday, our parents had finally started showing Shino and I some basic stretches and kata in the Aburame style taijutsu. I hadn't been aware the Aburame had a set style. I learn something new every day. The stretching was actually rather normal. It wasn't as intensive as what I did at night anyway. My father had been rather surprised by my flexibility if his chakra had been anything to go by. Goodness knows his face gave nothing away.

I hadn't known chakra could do anything like that. Express emotions that is. It wasn't as obvious as I make it sound. The changes are mostly subtle unless the emotion is strong. In the Aburame, that isn't likely to happen. That would be the work of the Kikaichu. They feed on their host's chakra and when the chakra gets too agitated, so do they. So, it's in everyone's best interest if the Aburame remain as calm as possible.

With the stretching done, Shino and I moved onto the kata. I suppose you could say this kata looked a lot like Taichi. I never did martial arts Before, but I did watch a lot of youtube videos. Not that I'm an expert because of that or anything. I might be wrong about which style it looked like.

Our father showed us how the stances were supposed to look then had us copy him. He ended up correcting Shino a lot more than me. Again, his surprise was noted. Once he was satisfied we had the correct positionings, he had us repeat the set until we "dropped." Shino was down halfway through his tenth set. The poor kid. Dad told him to go wash off while still watching me.

I continued on my own. I really liked the family style. It was very cohesive. One more went into the next with a sort of flowiness that was unexpected. But each move was also meant to increase a persons balance. If I didn't have my weight JUST SO then I would have ended up falling over. I really liked it.

Since we were just beginning, the set only took about five minutes to complete. This set wasn't very demanding, with the exception of balance and therefore control. Shino had made it for 25 minutes. I was going on an hour. Sure, I was sweaty and my muscles were beginning to shake. However, I still had a good grasp on my balance. Dad still told me to stop.

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard at first. Why? Because it could end up being counterproductive. Go wash up."

I nodded. I knew he was right. But this had actually been kind of fun. Why did the Aburame stop using it? I mentally shook the question. I would keep with it. It seemed like a very useful style.

...

 _A/N So, Let me know if there are any errors with spelling or grammar and I'll do my best to fix it. Sorry about the wait. I have issues around this time of year with sinus infections. I'm working on my second one in three weeks. And I expect to have another two before the end of the year..._


	5. Chapter 5

Ugh. It hurt to open my eyes. My head was pounding. This wasn't the first time. In fact, it was the fifth day in a row. Was I sick? I must have been. I didn't feel any of the normal symptoms that usually accompanied being sick though.

"Shika. Shino. It's time to practice," my father said from the entryway of the sitting room.

"Yes, Otou-san," Shino replied while I simply nodded my head.

We made our way to the backyard and started our stretches and warm-up exercises. Those were easy enough to do without my eyes being open. The kata sets, on the other hand, were not. I loved doing the kata. My family knew it too. They would see me in the yard practicing them multiple times a day since the day eight months ago that we were taught them.

So, it was no surprise when my father came over to me after I stumbled for the third time on the third set.

"Shika-chan, is something wrong?" His odd speech quirk surprisingly absent.

I tried to look at him like normal. I really did. I just couldn't keep myself from squinting. The pain was immense. I sighed to myself before turning my head down and gently rubbing my eyes to indicate what was wrong.

"The light is hurting your eyes." It wasn't a question. In fact, it sounded like he was expecting it. I nodded anyway. "I see. Shino, continue practicing. Shika..." He picked me up and brought me into the house with him. "Sit here for a moment."

That was easy enough to do. I huffed. Why couldn't this pain just go away? Have I been practicing too much? I tried to open my eyes again but regretted it almost immediately.

"Lower your hands, Shika."

I did as my father instructed. He placed something behind my ears that settled on the bridge of my nose. 'Are these?'

"Open your eyes."

I slowly blinked them open. Them I smiled brightly. The pain was gone! Wait a minute... I lifted my hand to trace the new addition. Sunglasses. Actually, they were more like goggles.

"I take it the pain is gone?" At my nod, he glanced back out to Shino. "Shino, come here." Once both of us were in front of him he stared at us for a moment. "Perhaps it had come to your attention that most of the Aburame clan wear darkened glasses." He held out a pair of the goggles to Shino. "That's because of our Kikaichu. They cause our eyes to be sensitive to the light."

That... made a lot of sense. I suppose I had thought the Aburame just wore them to be distinctive or something. Boy, was I wrong.

"Right now, Shino, your sister is experiencing that. You will, most likely, feel it soon. Your eyes will not be this sensitive forever. In a couple of years, the level of sensitivity will die down, and if you wish to switch to more regular sunglasses, you may. For now, I will recommend using the ones I have given you."

Ah. I could see light sensitivity as being a weakness. What if someone took our glasses during a fight or they broke? I supposed I would need to learn how to fight blind at some point. More training. I nearly winced but stopped myself before I could. I wouldn't complain about this. I needed to become stronger anyway and this could only help me in the long run. I resolutely clenched my hands into fists. I could do this. I WOULD do this.

...

Befriend a child. It sounded simple enough in theory. That would also sound creepy if anyone actually knew I was a 28-year-old trapped in a 4-year-old body. Luckily, no one does. Yay me!... Anyway, the reality was so much more awkward.

I mean, I'm pretty much a voluntary mute. Now that I think about it, I haven't said a single word to anyone, family or otherwise. Oops. That would explain why they mostly ask me yes or no questions. Huh. I should probably say something. I almost cringed at the thought. I hope they wouldn't expect me to talk too much when I finally did. I shrugged to myself. I would worry about that later.

For now, I had a more pressing matter. Torune had been in our house for a month now. I don't think he liked me very much and I needed to change that if I didn't want Danzo to have an interest in me. I couldn't remember how kids did this.

Did they just go up to someone and ask if they wanted to be friends? Was it more subtle than that? Did they just go and ask if they want to hang out? Wait... no. That was the new adolescent mating ritual. Or was that from my old world?

Maybe I could just poke him until he liked me? I shook my head. That wouldn't work. If I made skin on skin contact his Rinkaichu would kill me. Hm. I could... use a stick? Okay, so poke him with a stick until he liked me.

I nodded before making a face. I think I'll call that plan B. This really was a lot harder than I remembered.

...

"Is there a reason that members of the clan stop using our style taijutsu after a certain point?" It was a simple question really. I also thought it was a good one. I mean, why have a taijutsu style and then not use it? So, why was everyone staring at me? Perhaps I mispronounced a word?

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Y-you spoke!" Torune exclaimed.

I blinked, not that they could see it behind my dark tinted goggle sunglasses. "Yes? That is the correct course of action when someone needs a question answered, is it not?" That came out sounding sarcastic. Oops. I should work on that.

"I didn't think you could..." Torune trailed off sheepishly.

I blinked again. Oh. That WAS the first time I spoke in front of them, wasn't it? "I've always been able to. I suppose I just didn't have anything to say." Another thing to work on. The list keeps growing. "My apologies," I added as an afterthought. I didn't need my family thinking I was an unmannered child.

"It's okay." Torune paused for a moment. "You should talk more often. You have a nice voice." He sent me a smile.

Torune was, by far, the most expressive Aburame I've ever come across. He was also the kindest. Not that the others were rude. The Aburame behaved much like the insect they hosted. They had a sort of hive mentality. If one person needed help with something, they wouldn't need to say anything. It was just known they needed help and someone was there to do what was needed.

The Aburame were also much more subtle about showing their affections. It wasn't shown with facial expressions or expressed with words. It was through touch. A touch to the hand was meant to express comfort. A hand to the upper back meant love of the familial kind, usually only used with close friends or family around the same height and age. For someone younger, a pat on the head meant the same thing.

I had never known that a single touch could mean so much. I still had trouble getting my head around it. Torune didn't really have that option though. Not with his Rinkaichu. Maybe that explained why he was so much more open.

I realized I had zoned out a bit. "I... can try." I knew my family was pleased not just by their chakra which had suddenly seemed more lively than before, but also by the increased humming of the Kikaichu of each member at the table. Oh, my dad's hand was on my head. A small flush made it's way to my cheeks as a warmth settled in my chest. I... could get used to this.

In the end, I never did get my original question answered.

...

 _A/N Okay so I am actually working on writing a second SI/OC story at the moment. This one, as you can see is in first person. My other one is in third. So, if you see me switching to third with this one, let me know. It's harder than I thought it was going to be to keep the perspectives separate..._

 _Anyway,_ _ **thank you**_ _to those of you who leave reviews! You guys are the best! I do just want to forewarn all of you, I truely cannot tell you when an update will happen. I've got about 20 other stories that I've started and just have sitting in my docs that aren't finished. Sometimes I lose interest and only come back to a story when I get back into the show again. So, I'm doing my best to write as much as I can for both these stories while I'm on a naruto kick. Your reviews are a big motivator!_


	6. Chapter 6

I was six, physically, when my mother took me out of the compound for the first time. Shino had been invited, of course, but he declined. He wanted to explore the forests within the compound with Torune. He never said he did, but we all knew that was the real reason. Torune had really become Shino's "brother."

It... made me feel bad. Torune and I had developed this awkward friendship over the last two years. I didn't actually need to use my Plan B, because I hadn't even figured out a Plan A. Torune "bridged the gap" on his own not too long after I had come up with the idea of poking him with a stick. He had joined the both Shino and I during our morning training sessions. Beyond that, he would occasionally join me when I did additional training.

He respected my disinterest in talking, but would push me to every once in a while. He was happy if I just gave him a one word answer. I didn't mind. He was a good kid... Who was technically two years older than me. I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. They always ended with me feeling a bit weird.

Even better, Torune was good for Shino. He did what I have, so far, failed in doing. Being a good sibling. And yet... I was still going to let Danzo take him. I felt like a horrible person. No, I WAS a horrible person. Even if it was what happen in the story if I wasn't here. It's how the story was supposed to go. I wasn't selfless enough to change that. If I did, everything I knew could become irrelevant.

Okay, so that might be not be true. Then again, if he didn't take Torune, he could take Shino or even myself. While taking me might not change much, taking Shino would change quite a bit... Maybe. It didn't matter in the end. I couldn't let Danzo take me. And the thought of him taking Shino... It sent a flash of rage through me, white hot. My Kikaichu buzzed beneath my skin and made my skin prickle almost painfully.

Something slammed into me. I pushed chakra into my feet to keep myself standing, and blinked down at the girl on the ground.

"Ow!" She sat up. She looked as if she was about yell at me but paused. Her eyes went pale and veins bulged around them.

'Hyuuga. I wasn't aware they married outside of their clan. Thought they were too... stuffy for that.'

"Shinobu. Isn't there something you need to say?" A man with hair so blond it almost looked white asked from his place behind the girl. His contrasting black eyes made for quite the picture.

The Byakugan faded and the young girls' eyes changed back to the same black as the mans. "Um… excuse me?"

I resisted the urge to tilt my head and just nodded. A quick look around showed my mother was nowhere in sight. Good thing I tagged her with one of my female Kikaichu. I left the young girl behind while I called one of the males to lead me.

My eyes landed on the Hokage mountain. I took a moment to stare. Looking at the face of Minato Namikaze, I flinched and ducked my head into the high collar of my shirt. I didn't understand the uncomfortable tightness in my chest. Actually, that was a lie. I totally knew, but... denial was a long standing friend of mine.

One thing I was sure of, I would need to make it up to Shino somehow. My mother ended up finding me and after a light scolding, she took me home. Yeah... Everything was perfect...

...

"So... why exactly do you want to learn all this stuff?" Torune asked as we went through the final set of the Aburame style taijutsu. I found out its actual name was the Nagareru Kawa which translated to flowing river. It was a fitting name.

"It's not exactly a peaceful world outside the gates." I didn't mention that it wasn't peaceful INSIDE the gates either. I went through my mental list of morning exercises. Stretching, Before's yoga, basic strengthening, and the Nagareru Kawa were done now. I had to do the three sets of kata stances I had been taught by Kumata Aburame before I would move onto the chakra exercises.

I had asked my father if he knew any more styles of taijutsu. He hadn't, but he knew someone that did within the clan. It had been a surprise to find out that someone in the clan had actually learned something beyond the clan's and the academy's taijutsu. Next thing I knew, I was learning the Chūwa Suru style from Kumata Aburame. It was a style best described as protective, according to Kumata. It was meant to counter the opponents' movements in a way that kept both parties relatively unharmed. He used it when assessing other shinobi. I never did find out why he was doing the assessing...

"I guess." Torune tilted his head to watch as I started on the first set. "But, why do you need to learn it all now? You're only seven. You haven't even entered the academy yet. Were you hoping to graduate early?"

"No." I was just going to leave it there, but I caught sight of his tilted head and small frown and I sighed quietly. He looked so adorable. "The human mind is capable of learning and retaining things extremely well at our age. The older a person gets, the harder it becomes to do that. It's better to learn as much as I can now. As for the academy... I was actually planning on staying as close to the middle as I could. I'd rather not draw any unwanted attention to myself."

"Unwanted attention?"

'The attention of a crazy megalomaniacal man who is so far gone he actually thinks he does what he does for the benefit of the village.' Not that I can say that out loud. Instead, I took a different route.

"There are rumors that exceptional children are being taken. No one knows who is doing it." I paused to let that sink in. "I don't want to be one of them. I don't want Shino to be one of them either." The guilt that hit me was staggering. I pushed it back.

"Wouldn't it be easier to stop being exceptional?"

It was my turn to be confused it seemed. "What do you mean?"

"If you stopped learning all these new things then it would stop you from being considered exceptional, wouldn't it?"

I sent him a grimace. Child logic. "I suppose that's true. But, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

As I started on the second set of the Chūwa Suru, I sent the silent command to my Kikaichu to come out. Ordering the insects to follow along with my movements had gone a long way to improving my control over them. It also helped me learn to split my attention. My father had thought it was a genius idea. When he'd said that, I blushed so hard I literally thought I would pass out from the amount of blood rushing to my head.

If I was going to be using him to save myself and Shino, I figured the least I could do is tell him the truth. "I need to become strong."

I could almost hear him blink. "Why?"

"I want to be able to make my own choices. If I am weak, the choice will always be made for me."

"I don't think Shibi-ojisan would make you do something you didn't want to do."

"I wasn't referring to him." My tone must have told him I was done talking. I was glad he didn't try to push.

Torune joined me in some warm down stretches before he waved his goodbye. I watched him leave and sighed quietly. He really was a good kid. I allowed myself to wallow in the guilt and wretchedness for a few minutes before pushing it into a box and padlocking it. It wouldn't last very long, but I'd take what I could get.

Right. It was time for the chakra portion. I didn't have too many for that, unfortunately. Mostly just the leaf sticking, chakra strings, and tree walking. I could only try water walking when I was bathed so that would need to wait for later tonight. Then I just finished with meditation.

Leaves weren't a problem. I could stick one to each finger and hold it for for well over an hour when I last tested myself. I had taken to trying to stick bigger and heavier things to my hands for a change of pace from time to time.

Chakra strings were harder. I could form one or two on a single hand but they never extended further than two feet from my body. As if that wasn't pathetic enough, moving said strings was even harder. It took way too much concentration to just get ONE of the strings to form an "S". Guess it was a good thing I didn't intend to go into puppetry. The only reason I kept up with it was because I knew it would help to make sure I didn't intentionally waste any chakra in the future.

Tree walking was... different. It wasn't as simple as the show made it seem. It wasn't a simple matter of supplying chakra to the feet. Without the necessary core strength, chakra also need to be moved to the back in unison as a support if I wanted to walk "upright." It made sense, I supposed. There was a reason the tree walking was normally only shown to genin on the jonin track at the earliest. Ugh. It was why I pretty much doubled my core exercises.

Water walking... I didn't have much to say about it. Only because I couldn't really do it for very long. To be fair, by the time I got around to trying it, my chakra reserves were pretty low. Still, what I could say about it, it was kinda like trying to stand on a waterbed. Not in the way that the bed moved with you, but that the surface was there, just... it felt unstable. Usually, once I fell in the first time, I gave up. At that point, I was just so tired that I couldn't be bothered to do more than wash myself and drag myself to bed.

To summarize, my morning consisted of family training, breakfast, just running for as long as I could, reading anything I could get my hands on until lunch, lunch, working solely with my kikachu(we needed to know how to control them before we entered the academy), physical training that Torune would sometimes join me with, whatever mother decided to do that day, supper, bathing when I practiced water walking, bed, and repeat.

I had taken my father's words to heart about pushing too hard too fast. So, three days a week were spent "recovering." Basically, I just did maintenance exercises once then spent the rest of the day walking around the compound. Normally, I ended up being roped into helping some of the older people in our clan with things. Eh. Could be worse.

 _A/N Okay so this is the last of the prewritten chapters. Now updates... Well, they will be sporadic at best. As I said, I'm working on another SI/OC and I want to get it caught up to this one before I write anymore. The next chapter will most likely be about the academy so that's where I would like to get to with the new fic. I'm not sure If I'm going to post the other right away like I did with this one. But if I do, I've given it the title Ken. I let you know if I do._

 _The biggest reason I would llike to catch up to this fic is becuase there are ideas I had for the new fic that I won't be able to fit into the story without the SI/OC being way to OP and I try to aviod that at all costs. So, I wanted to use some of those ideas for Shika instead so the ideas didn't go to waste._

 _There is a fine line that an author of an SI/OC story has to walk. The knowledge of the narutoverse is an advantage. They can start a lot sooner in preparing and will naturally be better than most when they reach the academy. But, it also needs to have a sort of realistic aspect to it. Like, a character can't have huge chakra reserves right off the bat or even after a while. They can't whip out a dozen A-rank jutsu in the course of a fight unless they are an Uzumaki, a Kage, or are a jinchuriki. Not realistically from my research. I personally hate reading fics with OP characters so I try very hard to make sure my characters aren't like that. If they ever do get to that point, let me know._

 _So... yeah. Sorry about the rant. I do apologise if it takes me a while to play catch up with the other story since I won't be writing for this one until they are both at the same place so I know where I need Shika to be in terms of stats._

 _In the meantime... I have an idea of who I may want Shika to end up with in the end, but I wanna know what you all think. Any pairing you think could work? Is there any side scenes you'd like to see? I realize it's still way to early to know about pairings but I'll probably ask again once we get to shippuden to see if answers have changed._


End file.
